Saturday, March 9, 2013

She


Sometimes I still pinch myself that I am even pregnant. 

OK, a lot of times.


Even more often, I am pinching myself that I am pregnant with a GIRL.  

I was 100% sure that this baby was a boy and I was excited for it to be a boy!

I make hair bows and I love all things girly.  For years now, I have heard people say "you SO need a little girl!" and I would joke that I would probably be a mom of all boys.  HA!  


I grew up with sisters.  

Only sisters. 

 A family with all girls is natural and normal to me.  It's what I always saw for us.  For some reason, I just see Ben with little girls.  I know that he wants a son (and I would love for him to have one!), but there is something about the tenderness that he has with our friend's little girls that just melts my heart.  He was meant to be a daddy to girls (at least of one!). There is just something in his eyes.


If I'm being honest, the desire of my heart has ALWAYS been to have a little girl.  I didn't care where she came in order of kids, but I knew that I would have a daughter someday. Anyone that knows me knows that I love all  things girlie.  I love shopping, accessories, ruffles, bows, monograms, pink...I love it all! 


However, for some reason, I was determined that this baby was a boy.  I was planning a boy nursery, looking and gushing over boy clothes.


If I'm being honest, I think I was guarding my heart that it might NOT be a girl.  Please hear me out, that I was SO excited at the thought of a son and I SO SO SO would not have cared either way.  However, God knew my heart.  I think that I expected it to be a boy because we had been SO blessed to even be pregnant.  I was putting limits on God.  Well, I am finally blessed to be pregnant, I am sure that he's not going to bless me with a daughter on top of that.  One blessing is enough.  


I feel the need to clarify again, because I feel like this sounds horrible.  I in NO way would love a son any less...it's just not what I am used to.  It is different that what I know.  Not less, just different.


What I learned is that God doesn't have limits.  

His blessings don't stop with just one.  He DOES give us the desires of our hearts and I am just blown away by what this year has brought!!  There are times even still that I cant believe that I am painting something pink!  When we were doing our baby registries, I was again just STUNNED that we were registering for PINK! It hits me at the most random times!  Calling her a "HER" and "SHE" truly makes me want to cry sometimes!  And the way Ben's eyes sparkle when he talks about her/to her...be still my heart!


(we have asked at 2 subsequent sonograms "is she still a girl" and it has been confirmed both times! ha!)


Let's talk baby names.

We were set on our boy name.  Of course we were!  :)

As far as a girl's name, we had it narrowed down to 2 and we both liked them both.  I loved them both, but preferred one and Ben preferred the other.  For a couple of weeks, we talked about it ALL of the time.  I called the baby by MY fave name and kept asking him when he was going to give in!  At the same time, I pondered what a strange "fight" this was. Not that it was a fight at ALL, it was just somethings we talked about all of the time.  We didn't agree, but we disagrees with big ol' smiles on our faces!  How does one win this fight? "no, you WILL like my name?" It was just so strange because we both like both names.  How do we pick?  So many people told us to wait until we see her.  I cant do that.  I need to have her name on EVERYTHING.. ha! I wanted to be able to talk to her.  For her to have an identity.  She NEEDED a name.


The name that Ben preferred is one that we came up with a few years ago.  We have loved it for years! I know a few little girls with this name, but no one in our small circle.  The other name is one that was "newer" to our list, but I just love. I am a lover of old lady names and this one fit...it was old, but is making a modern come back. It was just so Southern.  That's what I loved about it! I also found out that it was my great-grandmother's name.  I was set.  I just had to talk Ben into it.  (and I knew that I could...I could get my way if I wanted it...and he also knew this and I think had figured we would be naming her "my name.")


That didn't happen.

Instead, I talked myself OUT of it! HA! I was talking to Lauren at the office one day and we were hashing the pros and cons of each name.  My lists were about even.  I had hashed and rehashed! I finally realized that I DO love the name that Ben preferred.  I do! I also realized that we had loved it for years.  It had withstood our test of time...while other names had come & gone, we had stuck to this one.  My fave name was newer and becoming more current, although I still didn't know anyone personally with the name.  What if it was one that I would "kick off" the list after awhile? I didn't know.  So, in talking to Lauren, I decided that I could use MY fave name in a few years, if we were/are blessed with another little girl.


I called Ben and said "do you just want to name her ___?" and of course he said "yes!" and that was it.  From that point on, our little girl has been known as: 


FINLEIGH GRACE



"Finley" is just a name we really like, but we spelled it with an -leigh b/c it is Sister Michelle's middle name.  Grace is a name that I just adore and it happens to be another one of my great-grandmother's names.  It is just so elegant and I love it.
My Finleigh Grace is just perfect and I cant even imagine her with another name!

More than anything, I love how much Ben loves it...and loves HER!  

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