Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Wednesday Words

So, instead of "Wordless Wednesday" I thought I would just share some lyrics ("words") that have been in my head lately.  I've had some pretty blue days lately.  Waiting sucks.  We are praying SO hard for a miracle, but doing that while guarding my heart is just making me weary.  Dr T has put me back on Clomid while we wait to do IVF...but I dont even know who much hope I have for it.  I thought about calling for a day 10 sono and possible trigger shot...but then thought that would just make me more neurotic.  I guess it's better to just NOT know and keep "trying the old fashion way" (only with meds).  I've just kind of been "blah" on blogging lately.  I love reading from everyone else, but I dont know what to share.  We are SO SO SO blessed, but I've had some pretty dark days inside my head lately...most I haven't even shared with Ben.  I just put on a happy face, ignore my true feelings, and just get through each day.  Healthy, no?  It just occurred to me that maybe its the meds again?  Hmm...that could be a thought. I am SURE that mood swings are normal when we are putting extra hormones in our bodies. 

ANYWAY, enough Debby are the lyrics that keep playing in my head over the last few days.  Have shared them before...but here they are:

I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But, once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining.

So many times I just want to throw my hands up and scream "WHERE ARE YOU?"  But, I find myself more often saying "please show me that you are here" and "help me to see you." 

For now, though, it's still raining...but we are still praying.


Crossing My Fingers said...

Girl, you took this post right out of my head. You're not alone...waiting is total el sucko!

Leah said...

Oh Kristina! How I wish I was there to give you a hug! I could tell you were struggling lately and I just don't have the words...because I know there aren't any! We are praying everyday. Just keep your faith...which you do I know. And it's okay to have blue days be upset. Sometimes it even helps! I have been having them too. Love you and hope getting away for Thanksgiving helps you with the blues!

Kate said...

I hate that you are struggling and I would do anything to hug you right now.

I don't know why you and Ben are going through this. God tells us He has a plan for each and every one of us. I believe that the desire for children was put on your heart by Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

I'm praying for you.

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