Tuesday, August 31, 2010

"Oh, Dear Christian College We Love You"

So, you know how we were discussing things that seem SO normal growing up???  If not, check back HERE.  So, I work at a Christian agency and there are many of us that went to (or have kids that have or are going to) Christian Universities.  We were all talking about something and another co-worker who did NOT attend (and never heard of such Universities until working at ChristianWorks) stopped us and told us that we were speaking Greek to her.  So, we stopped and explained things such as Spring Sing (HU), Sing Song (ACU), and Master Follies (LCU).  She was about to DIE...she couldnt believe such things existed.

We then went onto to talk about other "norms" at these Universities that people outside of their "bubbles" might not understand.  Today at lunch, we were talking about the marriage (and divorce) rates and why it's such a big deal.  We also just started talking about things that all students at these schools would understand.  It was HILARIOUS.  I went to HU and ACU and lived in Lubbock.  Another co-worker went to LCU while another went to HU...several co-workers have kids at ACU now. 
She thinks that we need to do a documentary at HU and call MTV or something.  She was FLOORED. 
When I was  a Freshman at HU, my roommate/suite mates and I had quite the bathroom stall!!  We found a web site with "You Might Be a Harding Student If..." and taped it in front of the toilet.  We would hear people using our bathroom and just laughing...so we started taping more funnies onto the walls.  We had people come to our bathroom just to read our funny articles.  It was great!  So, at lunch today, I remembered the "you might be" list and looked it up.  I found it and wanted to share!!!  For all you HU people out there, what else could we add...there are SO many more!!  This list dates itself in some things (many are the same) but for the most part it would be dated the late 90's early 00's.  I was going to mark the ones that rang true for me...but there are too many...so, ENJOY!

You might be a Harding Student if...
  •  You bring an engagement ring on a blind date
  • You hum the alma mater (along with the bells) on the way to chapel
  • You have two full drawers of club t-shirts
  • Your goal in life is to perfect the phrase "You ARE dismissed."

  • You walk 20 steps out of your way to avoid the bell tower

  • You've seen Dr. Burks jog early in the morning in spandex
  • You have THE PASS
  • You consider a "minor date" the guy who sits 6 rows down from you in chapel
  • You've recieved a crank call at three in the morning reminding you that its daylight savings time
  • You're the reject of "The Marriage Factory"
  • You've dated the reject of "The Marriage Factory"
  • You are "The Marriage Factory"

  • You've slept in a train station in Europe at HUF
  • You're keeping the dollar general store in business
  • You're keeping Wally World in business
  • You hypnotically say "GREAT!!!" when you hear the phrase "Student Impact!"
  • You get more campus mail than regular mail
  • You get a haircut during Thanksgiving break
  • No matter where you go-- Little Rock or Memphis-- you always run into at least three other Harding students
  • Three words: FEED, FEED, ARKANSAS
  • You know exactly the time needed on those waffles in the cafeteria
  • The dorm mother flushed your goldfish down the toilet
  • Your curfew is later at home
  • Terry Davis wife finder?
  • You're a victim of "The Mabee Challenge"
  • Pa-pa Johns knows you on a first name basis
  • Your penniless because of HUB prices
  • You've survived Jimmy Allen's Romans Class
  • You had a grande party in the Little Rock airport
  • You find yourself screaming "Go, Fight, Wee-in!" in your sleep
  • You're a male and find yourself at 2 am at the A&W Rootbeer Stand
  • You're a female and find yourself at 2 am locked in an escape-proof fortress
  • You wear funny-looking numbered shirts on the same day of the week, every week

  • You think someone's a rebel for wearing shorts before 4pm
  • You think nothing of buying a new pair of underwear rather than washing the 23 pairs piled in the corner of your room
  • You get more e-mail than real mail
  • Your day isn't complete until you check your club box

  • You're excited when "open house" comes
  • You know what the letters DCB stands for
  • You keep a mental list of what's in the cafeteria subdivided into "edible" and "inedible"
  • You have have participated in, or listened to, a discussion on whether its "Harding Bison" or "Harding Bisons"
  • You get really excited when they're serving chicken nuggets in the cafeteria
  • You've spent more than 3 hours this semester standing in line at Center Stage
  • You've ever had to use the ATM machine to go to the 1$ movie at the Searcy 5- which is almost never really $1
  • Your idea of an outing with your roommates is a trip to Wal-Mart.
  • You consider a trip to Mickey D's or Wendy's going out for "real food"
  • You think nothing of wearing the same jeans 5 times in a row
  • You count walking around campus as exercises for your "Intro to Wellness" class
  • You have been sprayed by the fountain while taking club (Choir etc.) pictures
  • You have spend more time in the library than you have asleep
  • You did your Christmas shopping courtesy of DCB
  • You've changed your major 3 (+) times
  • You've considered getting a slave... oops, boyfriend... to carry your laundry (Wal-mart bags, etc)
  • You spend hours coming up with creative messages to put on your answering machine
  • You've ever done a load of clothes (or dishes) in the bathtub (or sink)
  • You can't afford to buy a used CD at Hastings
  • You've ever had less that $0.99 in your checking account
  • You've ever referred to anyone as "That person who sits in front of me in Bible (or chapel)"
  • You've ever worried about how many chapel skips you have
  • You plan your sleep patterns around your chapel skips
  • A true sign of loyalty is sitting in your friend's chap seat while they finish up a term paper
  • You've "participated" in a movie
  • You've watched (or participated in) someone getting on stage during the final scene of "Twister"
  • You've ever gotten angry at a character in a movie for botching up their chances at an engagement (dag nab it, we take those seriously here) and/or made commentary (rude or otherwise) because of it
  • You refer to the "Passion Pit" as an actual geographical location
  • The highlight of your day is getting a phone bill, because, by George, its mail
  • You check your mail at least 16 times a day
  • You sleep through the cafeteria's lunch hours on Saturday
  • The security people don't scare you
  • Your idea of breakfast is a pop-tart on the way to chapel
  • The words "Function", "Hayride", "Beau", "Queen", "DCB", "Spring Sing" and "Chapel" are in your working vocabulary
  • You own a stuffed bison
  • You've accidentally walked out of the laundry-mat with someone else's underwear
  • You have ever referred to a place smaller than your Mom's kitchen as "Home"
  • You have to take up a collection to buy a friend a $5 birthday (Christmas) present
  • You consider "Fudge" a very strong word
  • You wrote Christmas cards so you wouldn't have to study for finals
  • You've ever eaten meal express more than once a week
  • You know the derogatory nicknames for every Christian university in America (ie-- David Liberal and Almost Christian University)
  • You have ever thought of a list of jokes like this one!
  • You've built and established friendships that will last a lifetime... 


The Allen's said...

I'm sure I should know what DCB and the "Passion Pit" are but they aren't ringing a bell....maybe after my time. Funny to read though!

Anonymous said...

Oh the memories! ~nicole

Growin' Owens said...

I feel jipped, I've never seen Dr. Burks jogging in spandex!
But oh, the Chapel seats brings back many, many memories!
Thanks for sharing.

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