Friday, September 4, 2009

...and yet again...(updated below)

We did and IUI 2 weeks ago.  I was GOING to try to keep quiet about it b/c I didnt want to deal with telling people that it didnt work.  BUT, we needed the prayers.  So I told.  I didnt blog about it, though. 

Well, yet again, it didnt work. 

We were hopeful that w/ my uterus cleaned out from the surgeries in March & June that this would work.  We know I ovulated at least 1 egg.  We know that the count was good (great, actually).  We know that "swimmers" were put in at the right time...we just dont know what happened after that. 

Because of my history w/ fibroids and blood clot, we dont want to "hang out" doing the same thing when it probably wont work.  We got into that cycle before and it got us no where (just wasted a LOT of $$).  So, I called Dr. P to get a consult w/ him to decide the next step.  The next available appt was for Sept 21!! 

Umm...that's too late, thank you. 

I need to know what to do before the weekend so that I can start whatever meds he wants me to start.  So, the nurse is supposed to talk to him today when they "meet" which is usually done around 2.  She said that she is pretty sure that he has the same concerns and will want to be aggressive with the next step.  So, I will wait to hear from her be the annoying patient that calls her back if I havent heart anything before 4.  Like I said, I need to know what to do.  Days are very sensitive with these issues!!!  And if we get messed up on days, then we miss a month.  Which in fertility world is a lifetime.

We are OK.  I say "OK" because we are not devistated.  I guess OK is relative.  At least, I am not crying all the time.  But, I would prefer not to talk about it.  My eyes have filled a couple of times today w/ people's sweet notes on facebook.  Let's stick to the facts, please!!

I knew it was coming.  With the IUI comes a shot of the pregnancy hormone HCG and I had some strong symptoms right after the shot...but they faded during the 2nd week.  In my heart, I knew.  I was just praying for a miracle.  The miracle that we wanted...when we wanted it.  But, we know that God doesnt work like that.  We know that His ways are perfect and soon we will have our perfect miracle(s) soon. 

Poor Ben...more hormones for me.

So, after being "annoying call a million times girl" I finally got to talk to the nurse.  Dr P wants me to do a few more of these cycles on Femera/Lotrozol (sp?) and IUI.  He ultimately wants us to do IVF b/c of all the scars on my uterus...but he wants me to drop some weight.  Hormone pills+weight loss dont really mix well.    Pray for us as I work to drop the weight and as we save for IVF...we are trusting God for that one for sure!


Alex and Jill said...

I'm sorry to read that your last IUI didn't work. :( I know the disappointment and whenever I read of someone still waiting, still trying, it takes me back to those feelings and that struggle. I'm happy to hear that your doc wants to move on to IVF and I'll be covering you guys in prayer.


Marci said...

I'm so sorry, Kristina. I am not one to be patient myself, so it's hard to tell other people it's for the best. Hang in there. I know it'll happen for you! I'm praying for you guys.

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