Thursday, August 6, 2009

Encouragement-Dancing in the rain

I hate thunder storms.
I hate scary lightening storms.
I hate driving in the rain.
We've had a lot of rain in the DFW area lately. As well as storms. This all got me thinking. One thing that I hate more than anything is a storm in the middle of the night. We don't have a weather radio or anything, so I am afraid that we are going to blow away in a tornado. But there is one thing that I do love about them:

Ben knows that I hate storms. I jump when the thunder gets to loud. And I occasionally make "scared whimpering noises" when the lightening lights up the room for a few long seconds.

But, I LOVE that I can nudge Ben and he will wake up and automatically put his arm around me and pull me closer to him. He usually kisses my cheek to reassure me (and then falls back to sleep. Wish I could do that!) Somehow, although the storm is still bad and I am STILL awake, everything is better in his embrace. Somehow, I feel protected. I am engulfed in his strength (if you know him you know that the "strength" would be more mental than physical...being the skinny bean pole that he is!) and I love every second of it.

Through all this infertility JUNK that we have been going through, I have taken a lot of mental notes on "rain." Songs about storms and rain. Quotes on storms and rain. Verses on storms and rain. I take comfort in the fact that God is holding onto us through these times just as Ben holds onto me through literal storms. I feel safe and secure knowing that God will take care of me.

But, just like when Ben holds me, that doesn't make the storms go away.

If you have read the blog since the beginning, you know that the only song that used to play was "Praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns. MAN, this song hit me hard when I first read the words. It expresses so precisely what I feel so many times. And so precisely what I know others are feeling when they struggle. Look at the first few lines:

"I would have thought by now,
that you would have reached down
and wiped our tears away.
Stepped in and saved the day.
But, once again,
I say "amen"
and it's still raining."

I pray.
I beg God for a miracle.
I SEE miracles happen to others.
Yet, for us...it's still raining.
After 3 years, we thought God would have answered our prayers...yet, he still says "just wait."
We know that He has big things planned...but we are not patient people! (and we learned better than to pray for patience!!)

Another quote that I love is from Angie Smith. If you don't read her blog, then you need to! I spent a day reading the whole back story. I was drained after reading it, but have been so blessed by her strength and her words.
I have this quote on my dishwasher:

(Her exact quote was "It takes a lot of rain to make the grass this green" and you can read about how she came to this revelation here. )

I hate driving in the rain. Even when it's not storming, I get anxious when it's raining and I have to drive. We have had several Summers in DFW where we have been in pretty severe droughts and could only water the yard once a week (as well as other restrictions). Luckily, for the last 2 Summers, it has rained. But. for parts of TX, it has not. In a long time. In those times, let me tell you the crispy brown grass and trees become hard to look at. We NEED the rain. We THRIVE on the rain. Things are so much more beautiful when it rains.

Even when I dont WANT to drive in it, I do...because I know that we NEED it.

I guess that's how it is with God. We NEED times like this to learn to FULLY rely on Him. Like the story of Hosea and Gomer. God commanded him to marry Gomber, a prostitute, so that he would understand what God feels each time we walk away from him.

I LOVE the book "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers but I could never understand why she (playing the part of Gomber) would leave. I was thinking "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING. LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW" and so many other things.

Don't you know that this must be what God feels when we don't trust Him? Or when we think our ways are better than His? I can just see him saying

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT MY WAYS ARE SO MUCH BETTER.
JUST WAIT..."

So, we wait.

And another favorite quote for today:

"Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass.
It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

That is what we are doing. LEARNING how to dance in the rain. And we are still learning. Daily. I cant quite say that we are at the point where we ENJOY the rain...driving in the rain...walking through the storms...or even the dancing. But, the dancing has become our normal for the moment. We have to take what God is giving us and use it the best way we can to praise Him.

And, to close, I leave you with God's words from "The Message" translation:

Jeremiah 29:11
"I know what I'm doing.
I have it all planned out—
plans to take care of you, not abandon you,
plans to give you the future you hope for."

The parts I love from this version are
"I know what I'm doing" and "the future you hope for"
are those words amazing or what?!?!?
Thank you, God! Please make our future better that we can even imagine and hope for!!
I hope this makes since to other people...but if not, it makes since in my head! This is where we are right now.
Please pray for us through the storms.
-K

1 comment:

Leah said...

This made sense to me! I know where you are at and I am praying so hard for ya'll! I have been there and have some of the same feelings again...different situation this time, but still same feeling and desires! Hang in there, God knows what he is doing!
Love you!
(oh, and thanks for coming over last night! I needed someone to bring me out of the funk that I was in!)

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