Monday, November 17, 2008

I'm Coming Out...

So, I finally decided to join the "blogging world." Although this blog will NOT be all about Ben & I trying to get pregnant, the first few posts will get everyone up to date so that we can move on. Getting pregnant is something that we have been VERY private about. (for my mom...not so much!) Our GOOD friends and people that I work/worked with daily know. Other than that the only people that know are the ones that my mom has told (which it WAY too many!). Telling people that you are trying to get pregnant is so weird to me. It's like saying "guess what? We have LOTS of s*x!" There is nothing like sharing that with your parents and in-laws!

(On a side note, it's like people asking how your honeymoon went. Just ONCE I wanted to say "We had fun and had lots of s*x" but Ben wouldn't let me! Or, its like when I had a b. reduction in 2001 and would walk into a room (again, I was very private about having it while my mom asked for SPECIFIC prayers and filled everyone in) of elders, preacher, teachers, people that I have known my whole life and EVERYONE's eyes go straight to my b00bs. Nice.)

Back to my original point. We finally came to the realization that we needed to just give up control and if part of giving up means that we "come out" and share, then so be it. I guess I would rather write about it that talk personally about it. BUT, we covet the prayers and hope to connect with people that are going through the same thing...so we decided to open it up to the world! I hate to cry and tend to cry if I talk too much about the FEELING involved-I can talk science-so I don't talk about it to too many people. I guess I am tired of acting like I am "fine" and like nothing gets to me. I don't and have never wanted to be that person that you have to walk on egg shells around. I don't want a pity party. I am SO happy for my friends who ARE pregnant and have gotten pregnant while I have been going through this. Those babies are blessings and I am truly happy for everyone and am glad that they don't have to endure this.

So, that being said. This is unchartered territory for me. For 3 years I have not been this open. I guess if I write this on my computer, it still seems personal. The first few posts will catch you up with where we are and where we have been in this journey...but after that, we will just have a good time and talk about anything and everything. As you can see, I am not shy about talking (seeing as how I mentioned s*x and my b**bs in my first post!!) about personal issues. I am a counselor (was an elementary teacher for 6 years) and am thinking about getting my certification in s*x therapy and play therapy. I know...a strange mix. But I don't have a problem talking about these things, so why not, right?!? (Ben is going to KILL me!!!)

OK, I should end this now, right?!? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

7 comments:

Chris & Amanda said...

Its like a diary, lots of people post this stuff! Don't worry about it! I knew that you guys had been struggling and will be glad to know the latest updates. It makes it alot easier to pray when I can be specific! Welcome to blogging - you will love it!

Donna said...

I hope this will be a type of therapy to open up and not have that "elephant in the room."
You might want to edit your posts to not completely spell out body parts and such. You may get some unwanted traffic from google searches. : )

You guys continue to be in my prayers. I have not personally walked this path, but several close to me have.

Blessings!
Donna

Leah said...

I think it is great! I too have been there and while we did ask for prayers, I cried every time...you know, you were there! I'm so excited for you guys in the journey ahead! I know it will be tough but the end result is so incredible!
Love ya'll
Leah and Tim

Kristina said...

Good point about the body parts, Donna!! Thanks!

annalee said...

hello to you. i will pray for you guys and your journey. i'm so glad you started a blog!

Faith said...

Hi Kristina! Welcome to blogging! I completely relate to finding it hard to talk about these kinds of things in person, but much easier to write about. I am much bolder when I can write my feelings out instead of saying them out loud!

We have been walking this road for three years as well. I am so sorry that you and your husband are having to go through all that infertility is. I know the pain, hurt and frustration all too well. I will add your name to my prayer list and be praying for you and your husband.

btw...your doggie is so precious!

momto2monkeys said...

Praying for you guys and loving your new blog!!

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